DaveShearon

"Ain't they got no mates?"

This was Crocodile Dundee's question about Americans.  The answer is no, and it is killing us.  This from a PLoS Medicine peer-reviewed article providing a meta-analysis of 148 studies with over 300,000 participants:

Current evidence also indicates that the quantity and/or quality of social relationships in industrialized societies are decreasing. For instance, trends reveal reduced intergenerational living, greater social mobility, delayed marriage, dual-career families, increased single-residence households, and increased age-related disabilities [3],[4]. More specifically, over the last two decades there has been a three-fold increase in the number of Americans who report having no confidant—now the modal response [3]. 

Emphasis supplied.  We have fewer friends, fewer family members, we move away from those we have, don't see our spounses because of wwork and often live alone as age disables us.  Yet, as my MAPP professor Chris Peterson notes, "Other people matter." Relationships enable us, call out our best even under the most horrendous cirucmstances such as combat, and sustain us over time.

We can't create deep, close relationships in an instant.  But we can create a real human connection.  Jane Dutton studies how "high quality connections" matter in the business world.  She notes that these are connections that can carry emotional content, and that they can be made incredibly quickly.  Can you create a quick but real, positive connection with today?  Could it be the start of a special friendship?  What would it hurt to try?  It's certainly hurting not to!

Photo:  "old men playing in El Retiro park" by encontrado.es

A Psalm of Life

I'm working on a Mentor Training program we will pilot in September.  Just ran across this and love it.  Might use it in the training!  My comments below.  What does it say to you?

A PSALM OF LIFE

      WHAT THE HEART OF THE YOUNG MAN
                    SAID TO THE PSALMIST

    TELL me not, in mournful numbers,
        Life is but an empty dream ! —
    For the soul is dead that slumbers,
        And things are not what they seem.

    Life is real !   Life is earnest!
        And the grave is not its goal ;
    Dust thou art, to dust returnest,
        Was not spoken of the soul.

    Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
        Is our destined end or way ;
    But to act, that each to-morrow
        Find us farther than to-day.

    Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
        And our hearts, though stout and brave,
    Still, like muffled drums, are beating
        Funeral marches to the grave.

    In the world's broad field of battle,
        In the bivouac of Life,
    Be not like dumb, driven cattle !
        Be a hero in the strife !

    Trust no Future, howe'er pleasant !
        Let the dead Past bury its dead !
    Act,— act in the living Present !
        Heart within, and God o'erhead !

    Lives of great men all remind us
        We can make our lives sublime,
    And, departing, leave behind us
        Footprints on the sands of time ;

    Footprints, that perhaps another,
        Sailing o'er life's solemn main,
    A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
        Seeing, shall take heart again.

    Let us, then, be up and doing,
        With a heart for any fate ;
    Still achieving, still pursuing,
        Learn to labor and to wait.

In the context of mentoring, I like the footprints idea.  It takes the pressure off the mentor to be the all-knowing guide.  Just a footprint in that life -- a sign pointing in a direction.  A hint.  And what else can we be to a young person?  We're different.  Each must make choices and pursue their way with effort, "Let us, then, be up and doing, with a heart for any fate"!  Choices, goals, even a bit of acceptance.  Like this poem!