DaveShearon

Remember, there are positive people, like Joe Mauer

Sometimes, it's good to remind ourselves that there are folks who are both incredibly successful and who give every evidence of being positive people who understand that other people matter.  Joe Mauer, all-star   catcher for the Minnesota Twins and ridiculously good at a lot of things, appears to be such a person.  Read the story if you need a pick-me-up.  Beyond that, notice those around you who are positive and engaged, be mindful so as not to take them for granted, and maybe work to move yourself toward more engagement and positivity!

Tweenbots -- what do they say to you?

Tweenbots -- small, smiling, simple, and on a mission they do not have the capcity to accomplish alone in New York City.  What do the results suggest about our missions?  What about others and their missions, even those who come into our lives briefly?

Flawless -- Simon's Message

Britain's Got Talent produced a great group performance and an even better comment by Simon Cowell.  I won't give it away, but be sure to watch until the 4:11 mark where he makes the comment.  I think you'll know why I made this post on this blog!  (Embedding has been disabled, so follow the link to a high quality video clip.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHLMQE7T3_o

Compassionate Spenders

Continuing the thinking in my PPND post as to how the economic downturn might bring out positives, there is "The Guilted Age: Spending to Keep Others Afloat" from the Wall Street Journal.  Although registration may be required, these paragraphs give the sense of the article:

Donations to many charitable institutions are down, but that may not be the correct measure of the nation's philanthropic impulses. Writing a check to an institution is impersonal, abstract and easy to quit. Far more difficult is canceling the kids' weekly music lessons when you know the piano teacher's husband just lost his job. Or firing the house cleaner who greets you every week with a new photo of her baby.

There's more than a touch of self-interest mixed in with the altruism, of course. Those who can afford luxuries like private piano lessons and weekly house cleaning aren't keen on forfeiting such luxuries -- something families freely acknowledge. But they also say their decisions are shaped in part by the pain that cutbacks may cause others.

"What we buy or stop buying, when we buy, for whom, and how much we spend are never simply decisions to maximize our own interests," said Viviana Zelizer, a Princeton professor who studies the intersection of sociology and economics. "The monies we spend signal which relationships matter to us."

Of course, nothing about us as human beings is simple.  There's the aspect of wanting to maintain our lifestyle as long as possible, even in the face of reversals.  And there is the "rational" analysis that, from a charitable standpoint, the money spent in this fashion might do more good for more people if given to a charity, but we don't know the people the charity helps; we know those whom we see every day.  And, of course, some sellers work to maximize the connection, knowing that it helps.  Is this a problem?  Or are they, by cultivating relationships, adding value?

I generally stay away from pulling examples from relgious texts when I am talking about positive psychology.  I don't want to confuse the two.  Further, since I am familiar almost exclusively with Christian texts, using those stories tends to trigger reactions based on feelings toward organized Christian religion, not the points of the story.   I'm going to make an exception in this case because "Christian charity" is so often invoked for the poor, sick or disabled who happen to be far away.  I think it is those in front of us to whom we should be most attuned, and I think the Bible supports this view.

In the parable of Lazarus the beggar and the rich man that is found in the 16th Chapter of Luke, the rich man steps over Lazarus every day of his life as he leaves his house.  Both die, and Lazarus goes to heaven, the rich man to hell.  The point I draw is that it wasn't ignoring the needs of the faceless "many" that sent the rich man to hell; it was stepping over the beggar at his doorstep.  Likewise, in the 25th Chapter of Matthew, in the story of the last judgment, the judgment is not based not on what those judged did for the "poor" -- it is personalized because what they did or did not do "to one of the least of these" was done or not done for Jesus.

How much evil would there be in the world if we each simply refused to step over those in need?  And, what unforseen, amazing benefits might we gain in the process?

Living in a World of Possibilities

This picture grabbed my attention in an ad on a website.  It's from Wayfarer's Moon, an on-line cartoon.  I noticed it because it is archery and the arrow is drawn on the correct side of the bow and the character is using a correct form for drawing the string.  I see so much art with the arrow away from the archer (only correct for kyudo) and the archer "pinching" the string between thumb and index finger.  Putting the arrow on the side away from the archer would make the arrow spin off the rest and out to the side as the fingers roll on the string as it is drawn.  "Pinching" the string won't work at the draw weights of target bows, much less those for hunting or battle as in the fantasies that the art represents. 

Beyond my hobby interests, however, the picture reminds me that we live in an time more characterized by possibilities and less by threats than almost any time in human history in any culture.  Folks can make a living from skills in writing and arts, and even the gate-keeping function of published media has been breached, for good and ill.  Thus, the effect of positive emotions, thought patterns, and relationships in helping us take advantage of opportunities is multiplied by more and bigger opportunities.  Further, more individuals have a real chance to structure much of their "work" around their real strengths.  This is good, very, very good!

"If You're Going through Hell"

I'd love to develop a seminar on the positive psychology of country music.  It would be fun and easy!  Except, of course, for copyright  and licensing problems, which I suspect are virtually insurmountalbe for any reasonable investment of time, energy, and legal fees!

If I ever do this, one aspect I'll focus on is the role of positive psychology constructs in the face of adversity.  Many of the constructs -- Seligman's attributional style theory, Dweck's theories of intelligence, and Snyder's hope theory -- really come into play when we face adversity.  Perhaps the old saying should be revised to state, "When the going gets tough, the positive get going."  Or, even more accurately, the positive never slow down.  And, in that vein, I'd use Rodney Adkins' "If You're Going through Hell" as the musical interpretation.   If you haven't heard this song, you can listen to a clip in the Amazon widget above or try here.  (If you're a Firefly/Serenityfan, the video's a bonus.  If not, well, maybe you'll become one!) (If the link doesn't work, youtube's taken that video down.)  Here are the key lyrics:

Well you know those times
When you feel like there's a sign there on your back
Say's I don't mind if ya kick me
Seems like everybody has
Things go from bad to worse
You'd think they can't get worse than that
And then they do

You step off the straight and narrow
And you don't know where you are
Use the needle of your compass
To sew up your broken heart
Ask directions from a genie
In a bottle of Jim Beam
And she lies to You
That's when you learn the truth

If you're going through hell
Keep on going, Don't slow down
If you're scared, don't show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there

The title of this song comes from a Winston Churchill quote, "If you are going through hell, keep going."  Churchill certainly faced uncontrollable negative events, and he responded in positive way.  "Not me, not always, not everything" -- he didn't see himself or England as responsible, didn't think the causes of the conflict would always exist or that they would tarnish everything.  This is positive attributional style, a/k/a "optimism", from the work of Marty Seligman.  Churchill did not know exactly how England would win through, but he seems to have had confidence that they could figure it out.  This is Carol Dweck's incremental view of intelligence.  And, he clearly envisioned the goal of defeating the Nazi war machine, generated alternative pathways toward that end, and deemed himself and England capable of traversing those pathways, however rocky and winding they might be.  That's Rick Snyder's Hope Theory.

At bottom, that's the power of habitual positive thought patterns and the regular experience of positive emotions -- those habits work!  As Barb Fredrickson has shown, the survival value of positive emotions is in helping us broaden our behaviors and build connections with one another.  That "together" idea is another good reason for the muscial metaphor.  Solos are great, but we generally find the greatest music performed by groups.

What's your music for the positive?